Today started like almost every Saturday for the past 4 or 5 months. Alarm goes off sometime around 430 and I stumble out of bed and start getting ready. I grab some clothes get dressed. Everything is going fine until I try to find my knee straps. I look and look and look and finally after 20 mnutes I find them hiding on the couch...so I strap up, stretch some more and head out the door.
I have a prerun routine involving walking and stretching until I get to a certain corner and then start running. So I'm walking and stretching my hips and whatnot as I make it towards the starting point. Once I get to the corner I stop and give a good couple minutes of stretching. Sometimes when I am stretching I wonder how stupid I look because 1) I'm not flexible 2) I stretch then take off running like I'm going to be late but not by very much. Just a little tardy like maybe 30 seconds. So instead of being late maybe I can't just slow jog/fat man shuffle to make up that time. Seriously I'm waiting for someone to yell out "You stretched for that".0 Any how I throw on earphones and take off.
Let the drummer kick die
Let the drummer kick die
Let the drummer kick die
Let the drummer kick die
Off in the distance I see ears sticking up in someones yard. Not just any ears...dog ears. Specifically big dog ears. More specifically they are what appear to be German Shepherd ears. Most specifically the German Shepherd dog ears belonging to a neighbor who happens to be a K9 cop. Police doggie? Zoinks.
He see's me runnin' he's hatin' tryin' to catch me runnin' dirty.
"Son of a bitch" I say as if someone besides Ladybird will hear me. We stop running while I try to figure out what my next move is. I decide to double back and head to the normal spot so I can still get my run in this morning without getting chased by a dog. So Lady and I head to a side street to avoid getting attacked by a dog. I turn back a couple of times to see if he is following...yeah of course if not it wouldn't be a good story.
We get to a 2 lane highway that goes behind my house and we start running. I figured with the hill between us and that dog we would have no problem getting far enough away for that dog to leave us alone. Tricked again. I glance over my shoulder to see this dog hauling a$$ straight for us. I instinctively pull the leash back to get between this dog and Lady and assume the Karate Kid stance. You know the one after that coward Johnny swept the Leg?
Kreese: Sweep the leg.
[Johnny stares at him in shock]
Kreese: Do you have a problem with that?
Johnny Lawrence: No, Sensei.
Kreese: No mercy.
As I prepare to rumble the dog starts to walk away and so do I but now we are in the middle of the highway. We started to walk towards the shoulder of the road while still facing the dog when suddenly I fall into a creek bed (I don't know what else to call it)...well not fall entirely more like slide down on one knee. So there I am in the dark, with some strange dog stalking us all the while screaming "Get out of here!". Oh wait I didn't mention that? Yeah for some reason when a strange dog comes near me I always yell "Get out of here". I have no idea why as it does no good at all but instinctively that's what I do.
After 4 or 5 tries I finally scale the little wall and I am out of the ditch/creek bed whatever the hell it is. My knee is all scraped up and my hand hurts to for some reason and the dog is gone. Or at least I can't see it...
At this point I'm done. It was a bad running week already. I had a booboo on my knee and getting chased 7-11 miles by a dog does not sound like my idea of a good time. So that was that. Lady and I went home and called it a day. We probably went a total of 2 miles or at least thats what I am going to call it. So the recurring theme of this week is epic failure.
Next week.
Monday: 3
Tuesday: 3
Wednesday: off
Thursday: 3
Friday: off
Saturday: 11
Sunday: off
I’m Awesome Enough. How About You?
8 years ago
No comments:
Post a Comment