It started off like every other Saturday. Alarm goes off at 4:27 but I'm already awake. I quickly turn off the screeching alarm and turn on my bedside light. Lady knows we only get up this early to run so she springs out of bed in anticipation. I, of course, am a little slower. I grab my running garb and quickly get dressed. After a brief stop in the lil' boys room I head to the living room where I look out the front door to see if it is or has been raining. That's when it happened...Raccoonapalooza 2008 in the cul-de-sac.
You know I don't have the slightest idea what you would call a group of raccoons. I checked the
raccoon wiki page but it doesn't say what one would call the possee either. I know geese are called a gaggle so whould racoon be called raccaggle? Is it a herd? Flock? Family?
Convoy (man I love that song)?Personally I'm not comfortable with family because what if they aren't a family? I mean trapsing through the sewers and eating garbage is probably like clubbing or going to a baseball game for raccoons so what if they don't even know each other? What if they are like friends of friends or a guy they went to raccoon elementary school with? What if they just ran into each other down in the sewer? It's possible...
Raccoon 1 "Hey do I know you?"
Raccoon 2 "I don't believe so"
Raccoon 1 "Nice ninja costume"
Raccoon 2 "Thank you kind sir. Yours as well. Ha, ha, ha" (in my mind raccoons are pompass)
Raccoon 1 "Would care to go to knock over trashcans and eat trash?"
Raccoon 2 "Indeed"
It's possible. Really. It it.
So anyway I'm standing at my front door overlooking (raised ranch style house) my yard and driveway while 6 or 7 raccoons are chilling in the street. At that point I realized I don't like raccoons. At no point in my life prior to Raccoonapalooza 2008 had I ever had a reason to dislike raccoons. Possums--yeah i friggin' hate possums. They are nasty, but raccoons ehhh, whatever. Now I hate raccoons. I mean seriously how can you trust much less like anything that dresses like a ninja everyday? Sneaky little trash suckers.
Okay back to the battle...at this point I'm stuck in the house. One raccoon heads for my yard and disappears on the other side of my neighbors van. Thinking quickly I turned on my porchlight...that ought to scare them away (I know pathetic right?) but of course it didn't phase them. Next I hit my door with the palm of my hand. Nothing. The raccaggle of raccoons continued to party like it was 1999 which I believe is 175 in raccoon years. They still sniffed and snorted (technically I couldn't hear them but I'm sure they were). Finally I opened my front door and they heard that. One of them stood up on his back legs in what I would consider an attempt to intimade me by making himself look bigger (it worked a little). With that they all headed straight for the draining system at the bottom of the street.
I stood watch from the front door for another 15 minutes so I wouldn't get attacked when we went out for our run. The paperboy (can you still say that?) or paperperson drove down the street and turned around. I figured that would be my best change to escape the horror so Ladybird and I took off and made it safely to the top of the street...made me wonder how many times I almost got attacked by raccoons and didn't even know it. I'm gonna have to get some bear mace or something especially since I run so slow. Although getting chased by raccoons might help me run faster. Is that allowed in marathons? Nice...
Anywho the actual run today was pretty pathetic. I had absolutely no energy and ended up walking quite a bit. I had some moments of brilliance where it seems to be coming together and then I would have to walk for a while. The weather was gross and with all the raccoon excitement I walked out the door without drinking anything at all so it made for a miserable morning. I didn't sleep enough last night either which didn't help the cause. I finished in 1:04:32 which is slow but no bad considering the walking. Next week will be better. I can feel it.
